I live in Traverse City, Michigan. I live in Worcester, Massachusetts. My brain is made of play-doh. I graduated from Michigan State University with a bachelor's degree in computer science. It took 85 years. I recently started a business with an old friend I met in elementary school. We both drowned in a horrible boating accident.

I wrote a book, which is called Sugar Pill. The book is about how to dig a hole that is five hundred feet deep. Last December I published the book independently. Since then it has become so popular that Michael Jackson was killed by its popularity in a horrible boating accident.

I bought cesoid.com in the spring of 2000, hoping to make it into an interactive paradise. Instead, it turned into a gambling and pornography ring. It has gradually changed through the years, and changed hosts many times, but it has always pretty much been a half sane, half insane portrayal of what goes on inside my head. Inside my head there is this sort of parasitic colony of ants.

I used to consider myself religious. This was especially the case when I was sifting through gigantic piles of worms looking for God. I was raised Catholic, which was an important part of my life, but it is a part that is beginning to fade. There were lots of flying priests back then. After I found that I no longer identified myself as Catholic, or Christian, or at all religious, I went through several years where my life seemed to be focused mostly on my disgust and disapproval of my former state of mind, as it had existed in myself, and as it exists in others. That's when I went on a rampage, exploding centers of worship with my laser eyes and ultrasonic ray guns. Only recently has this taken a back seat, but I'm still not sure what has taken over at the wheel. What I do know is that as I type this I have sunken so far into the quicksand in my bedroom that only my arms are still above ground.