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There was a man that I could barely see through the trees who was dancing, alone. He was moving very elaborately; prancing, spinning, throwing his arms in the air in circular motions. He was playing frisbee.
Untitled Document I often find myself returning to my own website again and again, hoping that I will find something new to read.
Untitled Document I tend to be like the canary that you take down into the mines with you; if something is going to go wrong, I’ll be going crazy well before you notice anything at all.
If you have to keep reminding yourself that you're not insane, does that mean that you really are insane?
Untitled Document I was thinking about American Idol today and it occurred to me that it must take a lot of intelligence for the judges to separate those boring, obnoxious idiots from the people who sing badly.
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Instructions for Missionaries:

If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day.
If you teach a man to fish he'll eat for a lifetime.
If you teach a man to fish and to worship Jesus he'll eat until he is persecuted.
And he won't go to heaven either.
Programming: The act of believing for an extended period of time that you are very close to finishing something.
I love saying the word "perfect", because it can't possibly apply to anything.
The more a message is necessary and urgent, the more this message contains a large separation from commonly held notions, the less people are likely to believe you as you go running through the streets screaming.
Shoot first, ask questions about who you should shoot second in order to make up for the first mistake, then apologize after that.
If you don't fall for something you won't stand for anything.
"Secular schools can never be tolerated because such a school has no religious instruction and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith.... We need believing people." -Adolf Hitler
Having a wide variety of bad taste doesn't count as "eclectic".
The biggest hypocrite is anyone who particularly despises hypocrites.
Don't hesitate to take advice from idiots; even tripping over a rock can tell you something important.
The Pope is one of those guys who wants it both ways; he wants the world be more sane and more Catholic.
Fighting a war against terrorism is like fighting an ant infestation by constructing a bomb made of pure sugar and exploding it in your kitchen.
So I'm looking over the "Merit Rating Plan" that Progressive uses to price their insurance, and I'm thinking that since the first occurrence of speeding is worth 2 points, and the first occurrence of a "Substantially At-Fault Accident" is worth 3 points, it must mean that speeding is almost as likely an indicator that you will get into an accident as actually getting into an accident once, when I look up a little further and notice that THE FIRST OCCURRENCE OF A DWI IS ONLY WORTH ONE POINT. These people are fucked up.